Blood donated (human only) competition
by linh1221
Summary: Well the tile says it all


Well the tile says it all

Summary: Yui vs normal blood donor, who is going to win

Disclaimed: I don't own Diabolik lovers

Ladies and gentlemen, let welcome our first competitor Yui, KOMORI YUI. Pretty girl with platinum blonde hair, sherbet pink eyes, 5'2'', 99lb, a 17 years old high school student and her blood type is O. Currently living with vampires so don't take her lightly.

And our second competitor Mr. A, a normal blood donor. Normal man with average looks, height, weight, job. Currently living with his normal not vampire family.

So the first competition is about:

The amount of blood is taken away from you

Komori Yui

Day 1

Ayato takes about 867CC (twice; school, homeroom; home, swimming pool)

Kanato: 453CC (once; home, kitchen)

Reiji: 303CC (once; home, his room)

Shuu: 246CC (once; home, bathroom)

Day 1 total: 1,869l

Day 2

Laito Ayato: 776CC (once; school, storeroom)

Shuu: 312CC (once; home, bathroom again)

Day 2 total: 1.088l

Day 3

At school: none

At home: none

Day 3 total: 0l

Day 4

Kanato: 566CC (twice; home, wax house, cemetery)

Laito: 438CC (once; church)

Day 4 total: 1.004l

Day 5

Subaru: 157CC (once; home, hall)

Shuu: 383CC (once; home, bathroom again)

Day 5 total: 0.54l

Day 6

Reiji: 356CC (once; home, his room again)

Day 6 total: 0.356l

Day 7

Ayato: 474CC (once; home, Yui's room)

Subaru: 249CC (once; home, garden)

Day 7 total: 0.723l

End of the week, the amount of blood lost is 5.58l (haven't counted the other blood lost accidents yet)

The other weeks are almost the same.

Mr. A

Day 1

Lost 250CC for blood donated

Day 1 total: 0.25l

Day 2

Went to work and went home, nothing special, lost 0CC

Day 2 total: 0l

Day 3

Went to work, bought dinner, went home, took bath,... Slept.

Day 3 total: 0l

Day 4

Same routine, no wait he made dinner this time

Day 4 total: 0l

Day 5

He was the one who made dinner again. Today special: tomato soup, potato salad and a burned chicken and while he cooked the chicken, he somehow managed to cut his hand (burn would be more convincing and realistic don't you think, and I still don't get it how on Earth did he manage to do that I mean he didn't even touch the knife!)

Day 5 total: 0.012l

Day 6

Same routine, luckily he didn't have to cook dinner. Well since he had escaped this one let see if he could do that tomorrow.

Day 6 total: 0l

Day 7

Work: papers, pens, desks, chairs, people, people,...blah...blah...blah... same as every single day

Home: They bought a new mob

Let see, there is an ambulance outside the window carried a big belly Mrs. A

Nothing happ... no wait, an ambulance plus a big belly Mrs. A equal to... so Mrs. A has a stomachache... Poor Mrs. A

"Umh, actually she is pregnant."

"Oh that make more sense, wait did you just said pregnant. PREGNANT!!!?"

"Yeah..."

"Can someone please tell me how is that happen."

"Well you know the bird and..."

"NO not that I know where babies come from, I mean since when Mrs. A is pregnant."

"It's obvious 9 months ago"

"I mean why has anyone thought it's not important to inform me about THAT"

"We thought.. and it kinds of obvious..."

"Shop making excuses! And are you saying that I blind!?"

Now where are we, right Mrs. A is giving birth so of course there is lots of screaming and blood lots lots of blood, on the floor, doctor's hands, Mrs. A's... And where is Mr. A, oh he has passed out. Now if excuse me I need to lie down too...

Eh where am I? Everything is so white in here, I remembered seeing Mrs. A and..

"You fainted."

"That is not surprisingly thing to hear, you know the little old me. Blood and me don't mix."

"Don't we need blood to live?"

"That is a metaphor speaking! And how much did.."

"134CC"

"That much! What did that man do to himself!?"

So conclusion Mr. A lost, let see, 0.25 add 0.012 and add 0.134, hn... That mean he had lost 0.396l this week, so miss Komori win this round.

"So we are talking about Mr. A."

"Yes, who else."

"Mrs. A?"

We are truly sorry of our technical problem, so Mr. A actually only lost 0.262l. Well that mean miss Komori still win this round...

The next was 'How often do you lose your blood?'

Miss Komori

Monday, checked, blood

Tuesday, checked, blood

Wednesday, checked, no blood

Thursday, checked, blood

Friday, checked, blood

Saturday, checked, blood

Sunday finally, checked, blood

So basically she lose blood almost everyday except Wednesday.

Mr. A

I am lazy so let have a short report, shall we. Mr. A only lost twice in a week, and one was intended, the other you could figure out yourselves.

That mean Komori san win this round.

At this point, it's quite obvious who is going to win.

So the winner is MR. A!

"Mr. A do you want to say something to all the people here."

"I just want to thank my parents for their believe, you are right mum! I finally win this blood donated competition. My wife for her.."

"Well that is the end of this.."

"Hey, I'm not done yet!"

"..show. Goodnight folks, we will seen each other in the next episode 'Who is the sanest in Diabolik Lovers?', bye!"

A/n: it's clearly why Yui didn't win if you notice the tile. Human body (fully adult) only has 4.5 to 5.5l blood and it can draw around 3.82l, which mean if we lose about or close to 3 or 2.8l (depend on each person own body) we are as good as dead. And Yui has a demonic heart so technically she isn't human in the first place.

P.s: I know it was an anime but with that amount of blood lost, I was expected to find a dry copse name Komori Yui in episode 5 or 6 and another Yui's alike girl with 'FOOD that make your undead day (Vampire only) and has been verified by Vampire council' as the label.

In the back stage,

"Stupid, annoying, useless, ugly, breastless girl! You really are good for not thing, can't even win a simple competition."

"Kanato-kun..." T_T

"If you let me had more (not that I need asking, you are mine anyway) then you would have been the winner right now, ne Teddy."

"That's not true Kanato-kun! May be if you guy hadn't taken too much then I might have.." ToT

"Shut up and give me your blood."

"KANATO-KUN, NO!!!"

"What now, seriously do I have to kiss you every time when we do this."

"What, no.. I... umhh..."

Somewhere else

"Where is Chichinashi?"

"Competing."

"Kanato-kun?"

"Cemetery, kitchen, his room,... what am I, his mother?"

"Man, you certainly talk like a one Subaru, and shouldn't Reiji supposed to be The Mother?"

"SHUT UP!"

"Ara, another hole, maa Reiji won't like it, Subaru kun~"

"GET OUT, BOTH OF YOU!!"

"Geez... Ore-sama will check his room, Laito?"

"I will look at the kitchen then"


End file.
